I have torn cartilage in my knee. It is an injury I sustained playing sports, and it is an injury that will require surgery to repair.
Because of that, until I actually have the surgery, I walk with a limp. Sometimes, if I know I have to do a lot of walking, I’ll bring a cane to lean on, to help with the limping.
The limp is enough to make people stare, add the cane into the equation, and it’s like I become a novelty that every fucking person in the world cannot resist making a crack to or about.
People of the world, I know you think you’re being clever and original, but, seriously:
The House reference has been made.
The Barbaro reference has been made.
The Tiny Tim reference has been made.
The Mr. Peanut reference has been made.
The Dr. Kerry Weaver reference has been made.
ANY FUCKING CHARACTER OR CELEBRITY YOU CAN THINK OF WHO WALKS WITH A CANE, I HAVE ALREADY FUCKING HEARD IT.
You’re not being original — if you were, you would be able to tell, because I would laugh, instead of giving you my patented LOOK OF DEATH — and seriously, it just isn’t really funny.
I’m in pain.
(I can’t even fucking sleep at night.)
I can’t do 99% of the things I like to do.
I feel incredibly fucking vulnerable.
(I’m a great target for muggers, right?)
MRIs and surgery are fucking expensive.
So let’s stop making a fucking joke about it, OK?
You could kick his ass.
Why is everyone so fucking dumb and unoriginal?