You’re a douche if you ride a motorcycle. They’re super fucking loud, super fucking dangerous, and super fucking invasive. There’s some shithead who owns one in my neighborhood who apparently has to leave for work at about 5:30am every morning. How do I know this? BECAUSE I HEAR HIS FUCKING BIKE EACH AND EVERY MORNING WHEN [...]
Archive for April, 2008
Motorcycles and the idiots who ride them.
Posted in Uncategorized on April 28, 2008 | 7 Comments »
This Facebook Ad
Posted in Things, tagged dieting, diets, facebook, facebook ads on April 28, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Really, Facebook? Being more than 120 pounds means YOU NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT? Who decided on that threshold? Keira Knightley? What if you’re, I don’t know, more than six feet tall? Even then, 121 pounds and you’re a fatty? This is just ridiculous. I can handle all the naughty schoolgirl and porn ads on Facebook, [...]
When Tivo Doesn’t Work
Posted in Uncategorized on April 25, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Tivo has one responsibility. Just one. And I can’t for the life of me think of how this expensive piece of technology could fuck up its only duty. Especially after years of practice. ALL YOU DO IS RECORD SHOWS. You don’t cast them, you don’t film them, you don’t schedule them, you don’t do marketing for them…. [...]
Everything About ‘Made of Honor’
Posted in Movies, tagged made of honor, michelle monaghan, my best friend's wedding, patrick dempsey on April 24, 2008 | 2 Comments »
Sorry, McDreamy, even you can’t help this movie, but that’s probably because I also fucking hated it when it was called ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding.’
These Marc Jacobs ‘Upside Down’ Heels
Posted in Fashion, tagged marc by marc jacobs, marc jacobs, upside down heels on April 23, 2008 | 1 Comment »
Any woman who chooses to not only buy but also wear these shoes deserves the broken coccyx she is bound to receive when she falls on her ass. And, while I’m at it, I also fucking hate the Marc Jacobs Web site; the navigation is so utterly convoluted, it took me three or four tries [...]
Flying Cross Country
Posted in Things on April 23, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
There is nothing more annoying than flying across the country and sitting in ONE chair for 6-7 hours straight. I fucking hate it. Especially if I’m only staying for a day or two and then making the same horrible fucking flight again.
And these airlines that just flat out STOPPED serving food? It’s fucking ridiculous. Hey [...]
Madonna in the Four Minutes Video
Posted in Music, tagged four minutes, justin timberlake, madonna, mothers, timbaland on April 22, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
For the love of god, you’re almost 50. FIFTY YEARS OLD. The days of gyrating on the floor and looking sexy are over. Do you think people don’t realize the amount of work put into every magazine cover and video shoot that make you appear 35? Cause, we do. Seriously. Wanna know how? Because OUR [...]
Jason Segal’s Penis
Posted in Movies, tagged forgetting sarah marshall, jason segal, judd apatow on April 22, 2008 | 1 Comment »
First of all, this dude is ugly.
Second of all, if the ongoing joke of your movie — I’m talking about ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall,’ in case you’re a complete fucking idiot — is predicated upon showing off your penis three or four times, your movie IS NOT FUNNY ENOUGH.
Also, while I’m at it here, I’m tired [...]
